Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I need a hoe opinion
go on
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
