I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
