Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
