What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Randomize
