..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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