if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Randomize
