Can i not drive my cunt home
it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
