Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
