the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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