At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
