i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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