Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
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