dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
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