please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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