it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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