Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
