Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Randomize
