:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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