i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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