yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Randomize
