im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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