I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
