Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
