i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
