She announced her abortion via fbk
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
