You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
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