I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
