the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
