You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Randomize
