I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Randomize
