I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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