goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize