i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
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