You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
