It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
We need to get me chipped asap
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
