in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
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