just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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