I just made out with a guy for $7.
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
