So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Randomize
