ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
