Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
