Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
