We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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