were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize