After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Randomize
