Dual....:-)
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Randomize
