take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
