is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I just googled if crying burns calories
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Randomize
