we're blogging at a bar
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I FOUND THE LEGS
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
