I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I just sucked dick on a ferry
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
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