For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize