You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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