i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Pants are for mortals
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
