I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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