so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
