I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
