That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
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